i fix bikes not bitches and brauds

i think i have lost balance. correction, i have lost balance.

i am not sure how much i began with, but i am sure that i have lost. what i have a lost in balance I’ve gained in perspective? fuck. more like  excess greenbacks and Russian water.

I’ve lost friends and made new ones. misplaced friends? miss friends? something along the lines of not appreciating the people i was around when i was around them? there is a tendency for me to do that, what i am saying is i have done that before not fully appreciate the situation thing person moment etc. i am currently in until it has passed me by or out of reach or whatever sappy campy phrase you want to put on it. but also i feel like that you if you stop and try to verbalize and give everything the justice it deserves while you are in it, you will miss out on whats going on around and thats shitty. and you should not do that you should live in that great moment and suck in as much as possible. and save all the appreciating for 4 months later in another place half drunk on a blog? ha ha ha.

i ramble.

i had days in my life where i preyed and hoped that everyone would leave me alone. my insides would scream and scream until i was in my room at my house by myself and there i could think. i could think about who was being true and who was being fake and where i could find the people just to let all down and not pretend or be fake myself. and i guess ive spent a long time trying to get closer to that. and i guess i am somewhat there or on the verge and i guess it scares the shit out of me sometimes because honestly at the point where knowledge and truth become everything your day evolves around you miss out on some pretty fun stuff the ignorant people take part in everyday. and the worse part is that you dont know which one you are well unless you are tremendously unhappy and then i would say you are just in the wrong place. but as i was saying you can be ignorant and not even know it. merely by growing and learning in the environment you are in. down to the language you speak. pretty sure none of this makes sense….

great

communication. ha.

fuck.

i bet the word fuck means more in a relationship then the word communication does in a relationship these days. fuck i bet kids think fucking is what communicating is these days. with how much sex is bombarding us on the day-to-day basis. the internet, tv, EVERYTHING. hey you make me happy, im going to fuck you. hey you make me angry so im going to go fuck some one else to piss you off. hey im sad so we cant fuck. i don’t know if i like you completely so i am just going to give you oral sex. NEWS FLASH oral sex is SEX!!!!! sex is sex, sex is not merely defined by intercourse that is the dick going into the vagina. people are multi layered beings that can respond to a smell or a color in the sky or the tone of the sky. THERE ARE same sex marriages , i have flirted with girl and it was more sexual than a time i have had “sex” or intercourse. fuck people. WAKE UP GENERATION getting numb feels great trust me god knows i have done it as much as the next. Can we at least try to progress as a society a generation. People drinking more and more doing more and more drugs. Fuck if you are looking for stimulant stick a fork in the god damn outlet, you feel something crazy then. shit.

i rant.

some nights i lose hope.

some nights…

-the kid